Everything is Coming Up… MilkBone?

white cat surrounded by bottles of perfume

It’s 2024 and if you think you’ve seen (and smelled) everything there is to see (and smell), then think again. Because Dolce & Gabbana is launching a perfume for… wait for it… dogs!

It’s named Fefe’ (named after Dolce & Gabbana’s co-founder Domenico Dolce’s dog Fefe’), and, according to the promotional campaign features different breeds of dogs stating that they are “delicate, authentic, charismatic, sensitive, enigmatic, fresh, irresistible, and clean”.  Because they are not “just a dog”. They are Fefe’.” Meow!

Dolce and Gabbana are distributing Fefé initially in Europe before it heads to the United States.  Priced at 99 euros ($108 US) the fragrance features notes of “musk, sandalwood, and ylang-ylang (don’t ask I don’t know what that is) and is packaged in a special glass bottle with a 24-carat-gold-plated paw print. I don’t know about the fragrance itself, but the bottle sounds perfect for knocking down off the dresser!

The marketing geniuses behind this olfactory revolution have assured us that Fefe’ is more than just a fragrance; it’s an experience. Imagine, if you will, walking your freshly perfumed pup down the street, heads turning not because of his wagging tail or adorable face, but because of the intoxicating trail of ylang-ylang, and a hint of squirrel, that follows him. The envious glances from other pet owners will surely make the $108 price tag seem like a mere trifle.

The genius of dog perfume lies in its ability to tap into the most primal of canine desires: to assert dominance through scent. After all, why let your dog rely on the ancient and barbaric method of marking territory when he can simply leave a whiff of his musk in his wake? It’s like giving your dog the olfactory equivalent of a Dolce and Gabbana collar. Now, when your pooch greets other dogs at the park, he won’t just be exchanging pleasantries—he’ll be making a statement.

And what about the dogs, you ask? Do they truly enjoy their newfound status as olfactory icons? Well, that depends on how you define “enjoy.” Sure, some might prefer the scent of a good old-fashioned “wet dog”, but they’re simply not aware of how gauche that is. Fefe’ is here to educate their palates, to guide them toward a more refined sense of self. It’s for their own good, really.

And do cats feel left out of this perfurmania?  I can’t speak for ALL cats, but I give the idea of a cat perfume a firm paws down. We are perfectly perfumed all the time (have you ever smelled a cat that has just given himself a good bath – heaven!!!). I mean seriously, it’s better than ylang-ylang (and I don’t even know what that smells like).

If you have a Fefe’ dog and you are done (or not) with the bottle, feel free to send it over to the cool cats at Orlando Cat Café – as I said, it does sound perfect for knocking down!

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