I am nominating myself for President! Not President of the Orlando Cat Café (I’m kind of the president there already) but for President of the U.S.A.
We’ve had a lot of visitors here at the Orlando Cat Café in the last month, and many are talking elections. It seems to me, that no one is all that thrilled with either candidate, and so I thought now would be a good time to elect a cat as president, and I am humbly submitting my name for consideration.
Now don’t let my name fool you. I know that my name is JeanLuc, and that is a “French” name, but I assure you I was born in the United States. As I previously stated, long before I even considered running for President, I was named JeanLuc because my mom loved french fries!
Now, I realize that I am getting into the game a bit late, and I haven’t had the chance to participate in any debates, so I am taking this opportunity to answer some popular debate questions, so that you can get an idea on my position on several important topics. Ready?
Q: What is the Best Pizza Topping?
A: I do like pepperoni, but sometimes it gives me “digestive issues”, so I will go with cheese, but it is important to 1) not eat too much and 2) be sure to let it cool.
Q. Which is better — Rock n Roll or Hip Hop Music?
A: I’m old school, so I will choose Rock n Roll (but not too loud). I also like Harry Connick Jr. and Johnny Mathis.
Q. Are there advantages to bottled water over tap water?
A: I’m environmentally friendly, so I think tap water is fine. And I know this will not be a popular stance with my dog friends, but toilet water is not recommended!
Q: Which is more real – pirates or ninjas?
Q: Do nursery rhymes have secret interior meanings?
A: Only Humpty Dumpty. It’s really deep.
Q: Are beauty pageants a way to objectify women?
A: I have no opinion on beauty pageants, but I am not a big fan of Cat Shows. Best in Class, Best in Breed. It’s demeaning and too subjective.
Q: Should plastic bags be banned?
A: Yes — Paper Bags are a lot more fun to play in and a lot safer!
Q: Which is better to have as a pet: a cat or a dog?
A: This may surprise some people, but I feel strongly that some people are “dog” people and some people are “cat” people. But cats rule (and dogs drool)!
I hope this clarifies my positions on several important and pressing issues facing this country, and that you will consider voting for me, JeanLuc, for president!